Saturday, March 27, 2010

Watching My Brother Get Mugged...

(With this one, I officially end the "Mugging Stories Cycle"...)

Apparently, my good luck does not extend itself to those around me... but the danger magnet that I seem to be continues working nonetheless...

2008. My brother I. had gone downtown to see his father, and I met him there afterwards; we were headed for this huge bookstore we like. But a problem soon arose: he rarely goes downtown, and didn't remember where the bookstore was; I, on the other hand, am always downtown, but have been cursed - like most of my gender - with the utmost lack of sense of direction.
Hence, there we were, completely lost and trying not to look it. But I gotta do justice to my brother: he always looks cool - blazé, really. As if he had not a care in the entire world.
It was high noon, the main avenue was positively crawling with people, and we stoped at a corner to try and come up with a plan. As Julia Roberts would say: big mistake. Huge.
Now: my brother is tall and handsome, but almost as skinny as myself; his glasses only enhance his extremely non-threatening vibe; top it off with my being short, skinny and looking a little dumb, and we were as far from being an intimidating pair as possible.
An enormous guy, much bigger than the two of us together, got really close to us before we'd even noticed and said to I., in this really low voice:
"You're gonna act like you know me and shake my hand." And out loud:
"Hey man, 'sup?!"
I stared, dumbfounded; I., however, thinks quicker than I do. He shook the hand the mugger had offered him, warmly:
"Hey man, long time no see!"
"I know! Hey, cool watch!"
The watch my brother's father had brought him from Italy.
Low voice again: "Now you're gonna take it off your arm and give it to me."
My brother did not hesitate, and not losing his "oh, I'm so glad we ran into each other!" look for a second, he took off the watch and gave it to the mugger, coolly:
"Nice, huh? Take a look!"
"Yeah, lemme see..."
The mugger examined the watch very naturally, with an indifferent appreciative look; all around us, people passing by, unaware. Then, putting the watch in his own pocket, said in his low voice:
"Now hug me and say goodbye."
I., hugging him: "Listen man, we gotta go now - but hey, call me alright? We gotta hang out sometime!"
The mugger then assured him he would, smiled at me, as one might smile at a friend's little sister whom they don't actually know very well, and left. Walking in the calmest of paces.

When we finally lost sight of the guy, my brother turned to me, looking extremely amused, and asked:
"What the hell just happened here?"
I ventured a smile, a little amused myself.
"Well... he took your Italian watch, that's what happened!"
He smiled back, put his arm around me and said casually, while we walked away:
"Well, it's just a watch. Besides sis, he didn't take it; he earned it! Fuck, that was awesome! Hats off to him, he can have my watch alright!"

8 comments:

Leona said...

Your brother has such a cool attitude. XD

You're right, I have poor sense of direction as well ;)

RicAdeMus said...

Your brother thinks faster than YOU! Wow, he is one cool customer. That was a creative mugger and your brother was 100% right--it was just a watch.

If that ever happens to you, please do as your brother did. I worry you would get into the part and yell at the guy for "having the nerve to act like nothing happened after the terrible things he said to you last week." LOL!

Rml said...

@Leona: hahahaha, doesn't he?! I've always tried to be more like him - never could achieve it, though... =P

@Rick: we're a fast-thinking pair, aren't we?! Hehe! U know, what u said is actually very likely to happen?! I like to think I'm a consumate actress, and love playing parts, hehe!
And yeah, true story: it WAS just a watch, no worth getting yourself into trouble...

beanizer_05 said...

cool bro

Didz-W said...

Cool!! But I'm so glad your 'series of Fortunate mug events' ended there. Phew! You both were so lucky!

RicAdeMus said...

I've grown accustomed to your words/thoughts, so please keep thinking fast and be careful!!!

Rml said...

@bean: he is, ins't he?! I'm so very proud to be his sis.

@Didz: hahahahha, right?! Me too, trust me!

@Rick: well, I like to think I won't need to think fast like that ever again! Fingers crossed!

ravali said...

really a best bro!!!!