Monday, February 7, 2011

Going nowhere

Humanity, you never had it from the beginning.
(Mockingbird Wish Me Luck, "Those Sons of Bitches", C. Bukowski)

The doors open, and I'm shoved in along with everyone else and by everyone else. The metallic voice announces where we are and where we're going - as if it really knew. 
I look around me, wondering what all of us are thinking. What worries us, and what crosses our minds so early in the morning. I wonder if we think at all.
I get violently elbowed in the back - a huge woman, who doesn't even look back. I shrug, and try to disappear in the crowd. I don't wanna be seen, heard or noticed in any sort of way. I hate crowds, they make me feel lonely, like I'm at war.
I don't wanna be touched either, but that's a much harder task to accomplish. Thousands of hands touch mine as they all slide either up or down the pole, grabbing it desperately - as though it were their only salvation. As though it were the only safe port, and we were all drowning. 
Perhaps we are.
I look at a hand right in front of me, and then its arm, shoulder, chest, neck, face, hair, feet, my feet, my own self again. I see other hands, other chests, other faces, other feet. They're alll the same, despite their trying to be so unique.
Some of them are tall and unbelievably fat, with breasts drooping over their bellies, bellies drooping over crotches, crotches drooping over nothing, and their clothes don't manage to cover it all. All that saggy skin, and I'm forced to look at it.
Others are incredibly thin, it's like there's too little skin for too many pointy bones, and their clothes hang loosely on them. Like new clothes on a hanger at the store. 
Some wear thick glasses, while others don't - even though they visibly squint in order to see anything.
And I think to myself "what an appalling world." Our only beauty resides in our being pathetic.
We never did stand a chance, did we? We get on that thing, and we don't even know where we're going.
And the doors closed.


Didz said...

Did you happen to see somebody's butt too by any chance?

Rml said...

@Didi: hahahahaha, not really! Not today, at least - but God knows I see one every other day. For some obscure reason, people seem to be completely unaware of the fact that half their asses are showing... how can they not feel it?!

RicAdeMus said...

I hope you don't hate Tennessee Williams, something about this made me think of him--except of course you put him to shame. This is great writing.

But drooping crotches??? Yuck! Please let me know if you find a way to get that image out of your head. =)

Anonymous said...

hahaha.....I can totally understand your feeling...even I go through the same thing everyday...!! :S

beanizer_05 said...

hahahaha! didzy is asking for some butt!? hahaha!

i hate crowds as much as you do, like everyone is rubbing there sticky eeeewwwy body parts against your skin!..crotches drooping over nothing?haha!

i wonder how the world will be if all people were like you and didzy..crazy minds never get tired..never fail to make me grin..

slap that big woman! tell her it's from me! it's the sweetest way i say hello to strangers..hehe!

RicAdeMus said...

Or maybe I meant Tennessee Ernie Ford, I'm not sure. I'm basically illiterate. =)

Rml said...

@Rick: hahaha, how could I hate Tennessee Williams?! The guy's writing's awesome - I don't deserve such compliment.
Tennessee Ernie Ford?! SERIOUSLY?! LOL

@Bella: sighs... thanks honey... life can be pretty hard on us! =P

@beanie: I slapped someone today on the way back home, just for you baby! ;)

I seem to have freaked quite a few people out with the drooping crotches image, LOL! Sorry folks!

RicAdeMus said...

"Ernie" was my hedge, my hopefully humorous way to backpeddle, in case the William's comment offended you--something I would never want to do.

You might think I needed to hear I was an idiot. ;P

LuMa said...

Hadn't read any posts in a while, so I decided to start with yours. :]
I obviously made a good choice since this is actually great writing, very funny and enjoyable to read ^_^

Rml said...

@LuMa: aww, thanks! You're far too kind! =)

Anonymous said...

Someone's in need of a forget-me-not... ;)