Saturday, December 25, 2010

Being Visited By The Ghost of Xmas Present

And a Merry Christmas to you all!

It's past noon now here in Brazil, and we're about to feast upon the leftovers from last night. Don't know about you guys and your countries, but here people usually make TONS of food, and then spend the next 2 days trying to finish it.





And speaking of food... there was no turkey. That's right, you heard me. No turkey.
I'll give you a few seconds to let it sink in.
...
...
...
...
 THERE WAS NO TURKEY!

Am I the only one who sees it as a humongous tragedy?...
As I wrote on my last post, eating turkey is one of the things I look forward to the most, all year round. Turkey and French toast, our Christmas desert.
And then, on the 24th, I entered the kitchen, where my uncle (the chéf of the family) was cooking a thousand things at the same time. I looked, and I looked... then finally:
"Uncle F.... where's the turkey?"
"Oh, no turkey this year. Only chicken and codfish."
"No! That's... that's... a joke, right?"
"No kiddo, sorry, no turkey this year. The children don't like it, and your grandma eats very little anyway."
"I see..."

Later that day, at the supermarket:
"Grandma, will there be French toast tonight?"
''Oh. No, I forgot to buy the special bread to make it! Sorry!'
"Oh, I... I see... that's... that's okay..."
In my head, I was like "NOOOOOOOO!!!!"
I spent the rest of the day pretty much like that boy, David after the dentist: "Is this real life? Why is this happening to me?!"
In case you haven't noticed, food is a very serious deal with me. Wanna make me happy? Give me some food. As long as it's not seafood.
And in the place of my precious turkey ("my precioussss"), codfish. EEEWWW.

Where's our turkey? Give it to us!

I must say, I behaved extremely well. I did not complain or anything. And when they started thanking God for the food, I joined them in prayer. Hey, it doesn't hurt, and it's not like I'm gonna burst into sulfur-smelling flames or anything.

After dinner, presents time! I got lots of stuff! Then I spent the rest of the night telling my cousin all about the Anglo-Saxons, how they invaded England and how they lost it to the Normans. That's... that's what my Master's thesis is about... I can go on and on for HOURS... In my defense, my cousin seemed interested, and he kept asking me questions, and laughing at fun facts! I'm not boring, alright?!

But in the end of the night, my family promised me to have both turkey AND French toast for New Year's Eve. Yay!!!
Yes, Linus, I do know that's not what Christmas is all about. But I can get extremely grumpy when there's seafood around.
So now, looking forward to New Year's!!!

And in the words of Tiny Tim, the most annoying literary character to have ever been written: "God bless us everyone!"

7 comments:

RicAdeMus said...

Cod for Xmas dinner? That's awful! You have to have turkey. Combined with no french toast is just too much!!! I know this won't make you feel better, but I didn't get the traditional Xmas breakfast. I had to munch on a chocolate chip muffin (I swear) to tide me over until what I guess you would call Linner. We had ham and turkey. Even though so much of the leftovers go to my FIL, it usually takes us more then 2 days to polish them off.

How could anyone not be fascinated by fun facts about a Germanic tribe? The Germans had the strength to hold off barbarians to the east and the eloquence to sweet talk the wusses to the west (when they weren't kicking their butts). Woot-woot, go Normans!!! Oh, wait, sorry, I got off track there.

Linus is the coolest and Tiny Tim the worst--sure, I'm glad he lived, but that doesn't mean I'd want to spend any time with him!!! I'd much rather hear more about your thesis. Smart girl! =)

heyimaghost said...

Well, I'm sorry you didn't get your turkey. I didn't either. My wife made Cornish game hens. They were good, although now, turkey sounds delicious, and I don't much care for it normally. And, the Anglo-Saxons are quite an interesting subject. Not nearly as interesting as the Norman invasion perhaps, but I do enjoy reading about them. And that William--quite the character. Speaking of characters, I happen to like Tiny Tim. Well, not really. Though I think he's more annoying in the movies than in the book.

Rml said...

@Rick: my uncle comes from a Portuguese family - and the Portuguese LOVE codfish, though only god knows why...
DON'T root for the Normans!!! They took the Anglo-Saxon territory and started... speaking... FRENCH there! Eeww! =P
Oh, we're all happy Tiny Tim survived, but yeah... I wouldn't like to hang out with him either...

@heyimaghost: my favorite bit about the Anglo-Saxons is their fight against the Vikings - I love reading about how Alfred the Great ALMOST lost the kingdom, but got it all back, after having hid in the marshes and all. I love reading about the Norman invasion, but I stil resent them, LOL!
You're very right: Tiny Tim was made way more annoying in the movies than he actually is in the book. Poor boy. As if he hadn't suffered enough already!

Eva said...

I've actually never had turkey on christmas (Haha, I wrote christmas on turkey first...) until this christmas eve. I don't really mind though, the food is always incredible, and as a consequence now I'm fat. :D

RicAdeMus said...

French! No, no, no, no!!!!

But they had great bloodlines before going native. Ahaha!!

heyimaghost said...

Well, anything involving Alfred the Great is interesting. I'm excited to read Asser's Life of Alfred. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned before that he's my favorite English king.

Rml said...

@heyimaghost: oh yes, you have! Asser's life of Alfred must be really cool - but, I don't know, for some reason, Asser strikes me as huge stick in the mud...