Pulling Off Some Julia Roberts

As you can see in my blogroll, Jamie's Daydream Believer is actually one of my favorite daily readings. Not only one of my favorites, but also one I highly recommend, if one's after intelligent well-written entertainment. And she posted a great story this week (read it here), very Pretty Woman like. Since I happen to have a  story of a similar sort, I asked her permission to go copycat on her and tell my own tale on my blog. Permission granted, so here we are! Thanks for the inspiration Jamie! This one is for you and all Vivian Wards everywhere!

I usually assume that everyone who lives on the planet and has access to cinema, television and dvd (and, well, in the past, vcr) has already seen Pretty Woman. Shame on those who haven't, really! Well, most of you must, therefore, be acquainted with the famous scene where Julia Roberts' character, Vivian Ward (age: unknown; profession: hooker) goes shopping on Rodeo Drive, and is snubbed by the saleswomen. A classic.

Well, I've never dressed like a hooker, thank you very much, but I sure as hell was treated like some cheap little thing at a store once.
I'd just come back from the gym, and decided to stop by the mall, since I needed some high heels for a gala party. I was wearing, you know, gym clothes, my hair in a ponytail, and an old backpack.
I entered this store that I knew to be good, and started looking around. As it turned out, the store had many shoes on sale that day. Everyone there was busy waiting on some customer, except for one saleswoman - who looked at me up and down and decided to ignore me. Fine by me, I hate their constant attention anyway.
I finally found a pair of shoes to my liking. I saw the price: they were far from cheap. I didn't care though, I had the money to pay for what I wanted. That's what I work for!
I grabbed the shoes and looked at the woman. She saw I was waiting for someone to wait on me, and she still wouldn't stir from her place. So I went up to her, smiling (for I usually make a point of being nice to salespeople and cashiers in general, even the rude ones), bid her good morning, and asked her whether they had those my size. 

She looked at me up and down once again, took the shoes out of my hands and evidently pitying me, said: "I'm sorry, sweetie, those are not on sale".

Excuse me?

Did I ask you the price? Did I ask you if they were on sale? No, I did not! I asked you if you had them my size! And that's what I told her, smiling and in a very low voice (I'm very well bred, thank you, and do not make scenes).
Me: "Are you implying I cannot afford these?"
Bitch stuttered, I continued.
Me: "I did not ask you if they were on sale, I asked you whether you had those my size. Don't bother answering now, though, I'd much rather go to Mr. Cat [one of the most expensive shoe stores in the city] and buy whatever shoes I want from them. Now, if you'll excuse me..." and I left.
Mr. Cat is, by the way, right across from that other store. I entered it, bought 2 pairs of shoes and flaunted the shopping bags around. Didn't know if the bitch could see it and I didn't care. I was still pissed that I hadn't gone as far as saying: "Look, sweetie, everything I'm wearing right now probably costs more than your entire paycheck! I live by the beach and my family owns a freaking factory - what about you? I've got a master's degree and I speak 3 foreign languages - what about you, huh? Please know that you're gonna be a shitty saleswoman for the rest of your shitty life. NOW if you'll excuse me...".
The kind of answer that only occurs to you much later - and the kind of thing I'd never really have the guts to say to anyone. That would be simply horrible, and I'm not that much of a bitch. Besides, to be quite frank, I hadn't gotten my master's degree yet (give me one more month though!), and I actually speak only 2 foreign languages and a... errr... well, a third of another - my German is very basic. Still, I could afford quite a few expensive shoes, and did not deserve to be treated like that.
By the time I got home, however, I was pretty satisfied with the answer I'd actually given. Much classier, if you ask me. And as I was also in need of a pair of brown boots, I would've probably bought more than one pair of shoes, had the bitch treated me nicely.
Big mistake. Big. Huge.