Monday, September 7, 2009

Falling

I can't say why it happens only to some people and not to others. Some just have the amazing/saddening capacity of not falling for/being esnlaved by a certain feeling, or thing, thought, person, memory.
It's an inate ability of letting yourself dive so deeply into something that you end up not knowing how to get out of it. Be it to something harmless, such as a certain kind of medicinal tea, or to something a little bit more than that.
It doesn't really matter why it happens - it just matters that it does.

She's the addicted one, whereas he's Addiction itself, holding its grip on her.

video

They're apart. He's standing there, nothing nor no one in his arms - but they're still wide open to welcome her. And she, who was so far from him, finds herself running desperately towards him, grasping at him. The moment she gets there he smiles, pleased. And starts working his fascination over her. She offers no resistance, and is like a puppet in his hands. After playing with her for a couple of seconds, he grabs her with the greatest of ease, and places her exactly where he wants her.
She has no will of her own so far - she'd wanted that. Take a good look at her face: it shows nothing but weariness.
And she keeps on moving according to his commands; he keeps on smiling, it's just too easy. He places her there, she's standing on the tip of her unbalanced toes, on her weakened legs. When he grabs her once again, she's the picture of despair. She knows she should fight it off - but has not the strength. And he drags her around, working her body at his will; we can barely see her face - does she even have one at this point?
She strived to offer a shadow of resistance - useless, he had her the way he wanted. She gives it up, and he seduces her, feeling the body that is, at that point, completely his.
He embraces his victim, and then silences her. She takes his hands off her mouth. Indifferent, he moves his grip of her to another part of her body. Again, she takes his hands off of her. He insists on holding her - she starts to fight him off, she feels he has too much control over her already. But as she repels him, he keeps coming back. And the few glimpses we can catch of her face are sheer suffering.
At lenght, she tries to run away from him, but he's too fast for her - or perhaps she's become too slow. He immediately grabs her and hurls her. As she's trying to stand up on her own, he's there already by her side, quick and smooth, embracing her. She lets go of his embrace - but falls. It's hard for her to get back on her feet all by herself. She gets up: there he is, time and time again, now making a barrier, so she won't be able to pass. She tries to break it, using the little strength she's got, but it works not. On the contrary: she's the one to bounce back - and he has her again in his arms. He blinds her, as she's struggling to be free. They have a sort of little fight, and she even attempts to strike back at him - though he averts it quite well.
They fall, and stand up right away in perfect synchrony - only to fall on the floor once again, this time from a greater height. They're one and the same.
She tries once more: gets up, and runs. She's trying to resurface, and reaches out. One hand, both hands.
He holds her arm, and stops her. Easily, single-handedly. She won't be able to get out. He smiles.
Her face is Pain.


She loses her balance, but he's there to support her. He's what keeps her from utterly falling at this moment. Always smiling, he grabs her neck and swings her - she doesn't even look alive. Except that she does: she comes back to life once more, and gets herself out - he doesn't let her go, giving her only space enough to move more comfortably. She stretches, he silences her again. She tries to avoid it, but can't, really.
He's one more time grabbing her body, and silencing her. She frees herself from his grip, at last - and leaves him. But he doesn't stop smiling, and leaves his arm the way she's left it: wide open. They're exactly where they started - apart.
He knows she'll be back.


Gravity (Sara Bareilles)
Something always brings me back to you
It never takes too long
(...)
Set me free, leave me be
I don't wanna fall another moment into your gravity
Here I am, and I stand so tall
Just the way I'm supposed to be
But you're on to me, and all over me
I live here on my knees
As I try to make you see that you're
Everything I think I need here on the ground
But you're neither friend nor foe, though I
Can't seem to let you go
The one thing that I still know
Is that you're keeping me down
Keeping me down
You're on to me, on to me
And all over...

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