Having Nightmares with Disney (or:10 Creepy Disney Moments) - Part 2

If you've missed the first part of this list, you can check it out here!

5. Pocahontas: “Savages”

Released in 95, Pocahontas was NOT the success Disney staff expected. And I know why.

Because Pocahontas and John Smith are BOOOOORIIIING. The raccoon Meeko, the hummingbird Flit and Percy the pug are way more interesting. The talking tree makes me yawn, and chief Powhatan leaves much to be desired in the "princess's father" category (Powhatan is not funny, with his "steady as the beating drum" talk. Snooze fest!). And Pocahontas' best friend is a bitch. An honorable mention is due to the young British settler Thomas, who is endearing and the only character in the movie to feel that genocide might be wrong. Also noteworthy: he was dubbed by none other than a young Christian Bale. 

"I'M BATMAN"

But the visual and the soundtrack are very superior to the film. And the song “Savages”, in particular, that shows both British settlers and native Americans preparing themselves for war, is spectacular:

This sequence is great, the music is impressive, but singing about genocide is... dark; definitely not a movie to be watched around Thanksgiving, if you ask me!

Another thing that did not help the movie (for me) was Mel Gibson dubbing John Smith. You can hear the crazy in his voice!

"...and that's how the Jews killed Our Lord and Savior."

In the end, Disney makes settlers and native Americans happily helping each other.

4. The Princess and the Frog: Dr. Facilier's death

In 2004, Disney promised not to make any more traditionally animated movies – thank God they went back on their word and released The Princess and the Frog in 2009.

The film introduces the first-ever African-American Disney princess, and it takes place in New Orleans in the 20's, with lots of voodoo, jazz and Cajun accent.

When the villan, the voodoo witch doctor Facilier (love child of Cruella de Vil and Cap. Hook), fails to fulfill his part in the agreement he had with the voodoo powers that be, (his “friends on the other side”), punishment does not tardy:

“Pompompompompom ARE YOU REEAAADY?” Oh. Dear. God. Those little voodoo dolls coming out of the ground, Facilier's desperate face – printed forever on a pillar – plus the chanting all make for a real nightmare.

Once again: chanting never helps.

3. The Black Cauldron : The Horned King's death

Never heard of this movie or don't quite remember it? That's because Disney does not want you to remember this flop from 85.

Based on the book series The Chronicles of Prydain by Lloyd Alexander, the movie is about young “assistant pig-keeper” Taran, who must stop the Horned King (very Ring Wraith looking, by the way) from getting the Black Cauldron, which can give him a legion of undead soldiers. This film and The Hunchback of Notre Dame are considered to be Disney's darkest movies ever. Not to mention the story is, frankly, a mess.

And this movie was SO dark that drastic cuts had to be made before its release; one of the deleted scenes, for example, showed a man's flesh being dissolved by a deathly mist (not pretty, but if you want you can see it here), while another displayed one of the undead soldiers killing a man by slicing his neck and torso. Nice. These cuts were so abrupt that they even left a perceptible jump in the soundtrack.

But even after cutting the strongest scenes, the reception was not good, loosing at the box office to the likes of the first Care Bears movie. (!) 

Aaaaaaand here is the scene where the Horned King dies, sucked into the Black Cauldron.

 Lovely scene.

2. Fantasia: “Night on Bald Mountain”

Fantasia was a grand project, but not a lucrative one.

The timing for it was bad: releasing a movie in the midst of the Second World War (Fantasia was released in 1940) meant not being able to count on the European market; and as it had been a very expensive movie to make, the studio did not have the necessary profit to cover the expenses it'd had. The movie was said to be a  “remarkable nightmare”. One critic said it was “for adults and very nerdy kids”.

Since I've always been very nerdy, I LOVED Fantasia when I was a kid. Except for the “Night on Bald Mountain” segment. It shows the demon Chernabog summoning evil spirits and hellish beasts at midnight; they all dance and fly across the air, only stopping upon hearing some Ave Maria chanting in the distance, along with the sun rise.

Another item on my “fast-forward list”. It terrifies me to the very core of my soul until this day. And though I find it fascinating nowadays, it's so grotesque I think wouldn't let my kids watch it before they were, I don't know, 15.

1. The Hunchback of Notre Dame: “Hell Fire”

This 96 movie is, beyond the shadow of a doubt, a horrible adaptation of Victor Hugo's book The Hunchback of Notre Dame – but BOY is it an excellent film! 

The story is good if you don't think of the original book, the visual is dazzling, and the soundtrack basically told many other Disney songs they could suck it.

But Hunchback is too dark: Quasimodo is tortured by the Parisians, Esmeralda is way too sexy, the 15^th century Catholicism is to heavy for a child to really understand, and even the vocabulary used might be beyond some children's grasp sometimes. No wonder they released Hercules the following year, a bunch of sparkly colorful nonsense.

But Judge Claude Frollo's moral dilemma, torn between his religious duty and devotion and his lust for Esmeralda, is the scariest aspect of the movie (starting at 0:42):

I must say: one doesn't understand what Frollo's actually going through here till after one's puberty. 

Frollo is guilty of religious hypocrisy, lust, attempted genocide, psychological oppression, murder and what has to be The Most Demented Disney Song Ever. 

Creepy lecherous old man.  

Having Nightmares with Disney (or: 10 Creepy Disney Moments) - Part 1

I'm not ashamed to say out loud that, though I'm pushing 30, I still love Disney movies, and cry each time I see Aladdin freeing the Genie or Mufasa dying and Simba trying to wake him up.

It beats Bambi's mother's death anytime. [sobs]

Disney movies are extremely beautiful, animation and story-wise, not to mention the breathtaking soundtracks. And the children can usually learn something from it.

Usually, not always. Signing pacts with the devil doesn't exactly scream filial obedience.

Nevertheless, sometimes Disney awards us with scenes and/or songs that are truly nightmare-fuel. After all, sleeping soundly is totally overrated.

10. Tangled: “Mother Knows Best [Reprise]”

I LOVED Tangled! It's a great movie with great soundtrack and characters (specially the über charming Flynn Ryder, and I'd been waiting for so long for another captivating Disney princess like Rapunzel) and does not fail to entertain. It's simply adorable.

Rapunzel's been locked in a tower for her whole life of 18 years. When runnaway dashing thief Flynn Ryder breaks into the tower to flee from the law, the girl sees in him the opportunity she needs to leave and make her dream come true: see the floating lanterns that appear in the night sky on her birthday every year.

As I said, it's an adorable movie. IF you don't count the scene when the witch who pretends to be Rapunzel's mother, Mother Gothel, finds Rapunzel in the forest and puts her DOOOOOOOWN.

 “Why would he like you, come on now, really? Look at you! You think that he's impressed?” Jeez. That's exactly the kind of mother that pushes their 15-year old daughters in the direction of anorexia.

9. The Beauty and the Beast: “The Mob Song”

Released in 91, this was the studio's biggest hit since the 40's. It also made history by being the first animation to ever be nominated for an Academy Award of Best Picture (back when the nominees amounted only to 5). It was nominated for Best Original Song as well, for 3 different songs (“Belle”, “Be Our Guest” and “Beauty and the Beast”), taking the award with “Beauty and the Beast” AND for Best Original Score.

Belle is the only person to have ever taken the risk to get to know the Beast, and they fall in love. But the villagers, as good villagers always do, decide to march to the Beast's castle with torches and pitchforks.

Gaston is not so great a villain, he's much more of a jerk, really. BUT he casts a whole new light upon himself while leading the villagers. The line “We don't like what we don't understand” is very medieval and always current. Collective hysteria can be terrifying.  

8. The Little Mermaid : Ursula's death

Disney had been having a bad time up to 89, with their movies underperforming at the box office; but upon the release of The Little Mermaid, what is today known as the “Disney Renaissance” began, i.e., it was the beginning of a new golden era for animated movies: unforgettable classics for the audiences and astronomic profit for the studio. (It ended in 99 after Tarzan. In my opinion, it's no surprise.)

The story is great (albeit greatly distorted from the original tale) score and songs are addictive ("undah tha sea, undah tha sea, dahling it's bettah, down where it's wettah, take it from me!"), Ariel is charismatic, Eric is the first prince to have not only a name but also a personality...

Yes, nameless bland Cinderella prince, I'm looking at you.

...Sebastian, Flounder and Scuttle are great sidekicks, and Ursula is a fantastic villain, specially in her scary-but-fascinating looks.

And the way she dies is just plain frightening.

When I was a child and watched this on tape, I'd always fast-foward it, cause I was shit scared of this scene. Dying impaled is already quite ugly, but the added lightnings, her skeleton and her tentacles wrapping around the ship are the cherry in a cake of sheer horror.

7. Dumbo: Dumbo and Timothy Drunk

Dumbo (1941) lasts for mere 65 minutes, and it's gotta be one of Disney's most charming and unpretentious movies ever.

The baby elephant Dumbo suffers bullying from everybody around him (animals and people alike), because of his ginormous ears. But when he learns to fly using those ears (with the help of some offensively stereotyped crows), he quickly becomes the main attraction in the circus. And they all lived happily ever after.

But before living happily ever after there was this petrifying scene when Dumbo and his mouse mentor Timothy get accidentally drunk, after drinking water mixed with champagne.

I used to fast-forward it as well. I mean, dude: There's an elephant made of other elephants, and its eyes become pyramids, and from behind them comes a camel-elephant that turns into a serpent that turns into an odalisque, and her belly turns into an eye! This must be the devil! And their CHANTING “pink elephants on parade” really doesn't help.

6. The Lion King: “Be Prepared”

Released in 94, this movie remains as one of the studio's biggest successes ever – and it still is one of the most lucrative animated movies in history. Another record: Mufasa's death, plotted by his brother Scar, is definitely one of the saddest Disney scenes ever, and it must've made thousands of kids cry around the globe at the same time.

Besides the amazing score and soundtrack by Elton John, a Hamlet touch to a great plot, Darth Vader talking to Ferris Bueller through the clouds and a Mr. Miyagi baboon, The Lion King also stands out for having one of the darkest songs, showing Scar and the hyenas' ambition.

That surely is a very accurate recreation of Hell. Everything in green and red, bones and decomposing carcasses everywhere... *shivers*. Notice the fact that Scar basically kills a hyena, making it fall into one of those hellish fissures! And the evil-faced hyenas marching is the epitome of nazi terror. In the end, they all rise as if from Hell. And though this can be quite frightening, I just can't help loving this song, it's very catchy!

I can't help loving Jeremy Irons, either. Jeremy, please marry me. 

To be continued...

Sunday Rambling

There were so many things that crossed my mind this week, and I resolved quite a few times: "Ok, now that's what I shall post on!". Unfortunately, the moment always faded away, and I didn't feel like writing about that anymore - sometimes I even forgot what I'd decided to write about.

So instead, I'm trying a miscellaneous today. Shall we?

***

This week I went to a store to have some texts I needed printed. I was wearing a cleavage.

The guy gave me a huge discount, and instead of paying R$48, I paid R$22. 

No one ever gives me discounts when I'm wearing overalls, my Kurt Cobain-y flannel shirt or my baggy pants. Huh.

I should rethink my dressing code.

***

Does anyone here remember, perhaps, the Matthew Shepard's funeral incident in 98? Well, just a reminder: the 21-year-old student was tortured and beaten up to death due to his being gay. Then, the hideous Westboro Baptist Church showed up in order to picket at his funeral,  saying the boy was burning in Hell, and carrying signs that said "God Hates Fags". Smooth. 

These guys are known for protesting against gay people, Jews (they went as far as saying Jews are the real Nazis. Nice.), any other religion, Chinese, black people, American soldiers, amongst many other things.

They're basically Mel Gibson.

I think I read somewhere that KKK has denied any kind of connection with them. Not sure if it's true, but if it is... that's rock bottom for ya.

Well, didn't I read this week they'll be picketing in front of San Diego Comic Con this year! They already have signs saying "God Hates Nerds". Apparently, us nerds worship comic book characters as if they were idols. Ha! 

Have you guys ever heard of a more non-threatening people than nerds?? A fountain pen could probably do, single-handedly, way more harm than five scores of us together, seriously. All you gotta do is wave a Darth Vader action figure in front of us. Mint condition, still in the box.

Besides, I do not worship comic book characters as if they were gods. Pff, I know they don't exist, hello! 

I worship Neil Gaiman. His existence's already been proved beyond doubt, I believe.

***

Speaking of Darth Vader: here's a list that goes to show how badly most of us nerds are in dire need of a social life, and how much we dearly dearly love Star Wars.

We should totally get a life. Or laid.

***

Who here's into soccer?

One of Brazil's biggest soccer teams is Flamengo - which I hate, btw, for me and my entire family support Flamengo's historical adversary, Fluminense. A much much classier team, that has seen better times, I must confess.

Aaaaanyway, the country's been in an uproar this past month over Flamengo's goalie, Bruno: his ex-lover Eliza, mother of his youngest child (and ugly as all hell), misteriously disappeared along with her child, and the police were looking into it. The girl had demanded a DNA test, in order to prove Bruno was indeed the child's father.

Bruno made a statement to some papers (brown press, I should add) saying the girl was no saint, and that they'd met during an orgy. Hey, don't judge him! According to him, every footballer has orgies galore!

The baby was eventually found, but still no sign of Eliza.

Suddenly, they discovered why: she'd been chopped into pieces and fed to Bruno's dogs. Rotwaillers, if I'm not mistaken. Classy. Bruno and his accomplices have been arrested for the murder.

Now he worries that this might affect his chances of playing for Brazil in the 2014 World Cup.

A guy who sees the big picture, no doubt.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/10565346

http://www.usatoday.com/sports/soccer/worldcup/2010-07-07-bruno-souza-arrest-warrant_N.htm

Such a scandal has never occurred to any Fluminense player. Just saying.

Have a nice Sunday folks!

Celebrating Nerddom

I usually prefer to take some time between posts - let the new one around for a while, settling down, giving more people a chance to read it before I move on. Specially when I really like the post - yesterday's post being an example. I really really liked it, so my intention was to let it be, and not post anything till the weekend or something.

BUT: today's a special day, and it is my duty to dedicate a post to it. Today, my fellow bloggers, was International Geek Pride Day. Yup, that's right; we ARE a minority, and we ARE discriminated by jocks and cheerleaders everywhere! Thus, we DESERVE a Pride Day, just like everyone!

(Ok, in all fairness, we don't have that whole "jocks & cheerleaders x geeks & generally unpopular kids" in our schools here in Brazil... besides, I've always behaved and dressed like a normal human being, unlike many fellow nerds, so I've never been discriminated against. But you got the idea).

And not only that: today's also Universal Towel Day, a tribute paid to the one and only Douglas Adams, the author of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and its trilogy of five books.

Also: today's the Glorious 25th of May, in honor of Terry Pratchett, author of Discworld.

And, the icing on the cake, it's Star Wars Day in Los Angeles.

This, my friends, is a great day to Nerddom.

I couldn't do much to honor so many great things at once, but I did carry my towel around in my bag, as a good hitchhiker should!

(No, I did not flaunt it around or anything - what for? I'm a nerd, not a complete nutjob. It was simply in my bag, you know, just in case. You should always have your towel on you. Always. And, above all, DON'T PANIC.)

 My extremely girlish towel, the 3rd volume of Douglas Adams trilogy (of 5 books) and my purse, which was forced to carry them throughout the day.

And in honor of this great great day, I leave here the image below, made up of some nerd references: RPG, animes, comic books, movies, tv shows, sci-fi books, cartoons. They're all here either cause they were essential to my personal growth as a nerd (Marvel heroes, for example), or because I recognize their huge legacy to nerds everywhere (like Star Trek, which I actually despise, but cannot deny to be a big asset to Nerddom).

Hope you guys have had a wonderful Geek Day - whether thou be geeks or not! And if thou art not, why not come to the Dark Side of the Force? Give that some thought: we're fun people to be with (and many nerds are in desperate need of a social life!).

Nerd Sites I strongly recommend visiting:

http://www.toplessrobot.com/

http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/

http://www.litbrick.com/

http://brat-halla.com/

http://jovemnerd.ig.com.br/ (for those who speak Portuguese)

Saving My Day

Really, it did. These news completely saved my day. Not that I was having a particularly rough day or anything, far from it. But this, wow, this is just heartwarming.
It made me cry my eyes out; my heart swelled with pride in being a nerd, and my faith in random acts of kindness was completely restored.

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2011740342_electronboy30m.html

This is important. This is the kind of thing that really matters.

Thank you, Seattle. Thank you.

Unmasking

For those of you who still don't know it, I'm a hopeless nerd. I love Star Wars (and hate Start Trek. A true geek must choose!), comic books, mangas, cartoons, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter and RPG; I think that Batman can totally hand Superman his own ass (a geek must take a stand on that), that Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers was the best franchise of them all, and that the new Marvel movies - leading to what will definitely be an awesome Avengers movie - totally rock. 

There was a small event (an understatement of mine) going on in the Marvel Universe a couple of years ago, called The Civil War: should heroes reveal their secret identities before society or not? In the middle of it, Spider-Man unmasked himself, revealing to be Peter Parker in a press conference.

I thought to myself "shit!". It's a pretty... err... "un-turn-back-able" move, if I may say so. (Not to Marvel, of course, they just erased the whole damn thing by having Peter make a deal with Mephisto, but let's not get into that). A ballsy move. I mean, to come forward before every single one you know and reveal yourself to be, well, yourself, sure takes a lot of guts. How often does one take off his mask and stand before us, stark naked? (Metaphorically speaking, please. I'm a family girl.)
I know I hardly ever do.

Unfortunately, living in society can be a test of will; it demands constant adaptation, chameleon-like skills, prudence and flexibility. Try to balance it all with honesty, and you're in for a challenge.
Something that many have come to agree is that society life demands masks. You've got one for every person you encounter, one for every situation.
For my boss, I'm the helpful responsible li'l one; for (most of) my work mates, I'm the funny li'l one - sometimes downright sarcastic, sometimes plain goofy and clumsy; for some of my friends, I'm the erudite; for others, I'm the clownish geek li'l one (always the li'l one, mind. This is what I get from being less than 5'2"); for my dad, I'm his lazy-but-brilliant daughter (and, I have to add, only daughter, so that was an easy one, really). Mom thought there was just no stopping me - while my aunt spends a lot of her time trying to convince me that I won't get to the places I want. My bro thinks I'm one of the few he can rely upon, and my grandma shall never know I'm an atheist, despite my Catholic upbringing (that would be the biggest disappointment of this 82 year-old lady's life, no need for that). What about the parts they don't see?
How many of them get the big picture? How much of their big picture do I get?
I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels that way: there's an incredibly small amount of people with whom one actually feels comfortable enough to be oneself - as a whole. No masks, no facets; only nakedness. (Again, metaphorically.) 

One of my best friends, M.H., says that I'm a "social cripple". Yeah, I know: ouch. He and I, we haven't eaten a ton of salt together yet (proverb: to really know one, you must eat a ton of salt together) - but he guesses everything he hasn't seen. He's got a pretty good hunch of where the good, the bad and the ugly lie, and thus, is never surprised by anything I say or do. Such a lack of reaction, such a lack of judgement, it makes me feel home. There's only him and a couple more of people around whom I simply sit back and relax. People who think the whole is much better than the mere sum of the parts, and with whom I have no masks - only entirety.
As for the rest of humanity, they have the bad habit of forming mental pictures before they actually do get to know one, of having certain expectations, certain standards to which one's gotta live up to. Hence, we mask the part that would not survive the test. This is just so fucked up. Is it too childish to say that I hate adapting? (Yes, it is. What? Uh?)
I'm still plucking up the courage to leave home withouth the crutches and, you know, just walk on.

(P.S.: As GoogleTalk would say: ...aaaaaaaaand we're back! Still not as often as I'd like, though, due to my tight schedules - got my master's dissertation to hand in in a month. Still, better than completely gone!)

Quoting Favorites IV (or: on Wharton, and Sameness, and Restlessness)

You see, Monsieur, it's worth everything, isn't it, to keep one's intellectual liberty, not to enslave one's powers of appreciation, one's critical independence? (...) Ah, good conversation - there's nothing like it, is there? The air of ideas is the only air worth breathing.

(The Age of Innocence, Book 2, chapter 20)

I avoided The Age of Innocence at college. It just sounded so tedious... (I chose to read The Great Gatsby for my American Literature class instead.)

However, on my weekly quest for new books, I stumbled across this simple edition of The Age of Innocence at a bookstore last year; I grabbed it, coldly and only slightly interested. But I'd already read all the books I had at home, and was basically on withdrawal - I just had to read anything. (Anything, obviously, did not include Marley and I, you gotta draw the line somewhere.)
I started reading it over lunch - and found it completely unputdownable. I took it with me wherever I went for two days, two much too short days. It was an enticing, exceedingly well-written story; but there was more than that. I felt Newland Archer.

Opening your eyes. You can always choose not to open them; but once you're able to see, you can never close them back again. The good old "red pill, blue pill" thing.
One of the worst parst of opening your eyes (getting a brain?) is realizing that you are probably alone in this. In a world of blindness, seeing creates this unfathomable abyss between you and those among whom you must live.But one cannot set himself apart fom society as a whole. So you stay exactly where you are, with the poor satisfaction of being free from those shackles that seem to bond everybody else. But every second of your stay comes at a high price: the stillness of ideas around you just makes you realize the stillness of life you've forced yourself into. 

He was out of spirits and slightly out of temper, and a haunting horror of doing the same thing every day at the same hour besieged his brain.
"Sameness - sameness!" he muttered, the word running through his head like a persecuting tune (...).

(The Age of Innocence, Book 1, chapter 10)

What do you do when you feel restless in a world where Sameness is sovereign?

You crave for fresh air. You try to open the windows in the room - what if those around you just simply don't see the point in that? 

"Newland! Do shut the window. You'll catch your death!"
He pulled the sash down and turned back. "Catch my death!" he echoed; and he felt like adding: "But I've caught it already. I am dead - I've been dead for months and months." (...)
"Poor May!" he said
"Poor? Why poor?" she echoed with a strained laugh.
"Because I shall never be able to open a window without worrying you" he rejoined, laughing also.
For a moment she was silent; then she said very low, her head bowed over her work: "I shall never worry if you're hapy."
"Ah my dear; and I shall never be happy unless I can open the windows!"
"In this weather?" she remonstrated; and with a sigh he buried his head in his book.
(The Age of Innocence, Book 2, chapter 29)

Finally, you come to the sad realization that you'll have to adapt. Smooth around the rough edges. 

...the first six months were always the most difficult in marriage. "After that I suppose we shall have pretty nearly finished rubbing off each other's angles" he reflected; but the worst of it was that May's pressure was already bearing on the very angles whose sharpness he most wanted to keep.

(The Age of Innocence, Book 2, chapter 20)

And once these edges are smoothed right out of you, your hopeful desires are gone. That tingling in your belly. (Mass, if you ever get around to reading this, that last sentence was definitely for you! =P) 

Life's all about not being smoothed out of yourself.

Asking the Wizard For a Brain

Scarecrow: I haven't got a brain... only straw.
Dorothy: How can you talk if you haven't got a brain?
Scarecrow: I don't know... But some people without brains do an awful lot of talking... don't they?
Dorothy: Yes, I guess you're right.

Funny, now, that the most intelligent character in The Wonderful Wizard of Oz is actually the one who wants a brain. The more you know, the more you realize you don't know that much. I don't remember exactly who said this, but they can sure say that again!

But his wanting a brain is even more touching than Tinman's wanting a heart.

Brains are so underrated, and yet so overrated. Thinking, you'd think, is extremely important. Right? No.
Who actually cares about brains? Why having them?

Brains do not bring you happiness:
"All the same," said the Scarecrow, "I shall ask for brains instead of a heart; for a fool would not know what to do with a heart if he had one."
"I shall take the heart," returned the Tin Woodman; "for brains do not make one happy, and happiness is the best thing in the world."
It's quite the contrary, actually, Scarecrow: the more you think, the more miserable you become. Besides, the heart works on instinct, rather than on thought. Any fool knows what to do with a heart.

"It must be inconvenient to be made of flesh," said the Scarecrow thoughtfully, "for you must sleep, and eat and drink. However, you have brains, and it is worth a lot of bother to be able to think properly."
It isn't, really - the biggest bother of all is to be able to think properly.

Brains make you overthink. Overanalyse, overworry, overestimate them.
When I was a child, I loved the fact that the Scarecrow valued brains above it all; but now that I actually have got a heart, am quite brave and have a home, I wonder whether he was happy afterwards. What will happen to him, once he finds out the burden of thinking? The discomfort and complexities that come with the territory?

Tinman was brave to ask for a heart. Scarecrow is deluded. And I don't blame him.

Asking the Wizard For a Heart

A friend of mine once refered to the heart as "that little muscle that could". Brilliant, I say. What is it that makes it so resilient, and yet so fragile?
From a pragmatic point of view, it's not even useful - aside, of course, from pumping blood. But that's not the heart I'm talking about.

Wizard of Oz (to the Tin Woodman): As for you, my galvanized friend, you want a heart. You don't know how lucky you are not to have one. Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable.
Tin Woodsman: But I still want one. 

The heart announces itself most poignantly only when it's about to break. And being the generous little thing it is, it takes no one down with it: it falls in utter loneliness. And all of those other parts of your body just sit back and watch while the most breakable part of you... breaks away.

Dorothy: Goodbye, Tinman. Oh, don't cry! You'll rust so dreadfully. Here's your oil can.

Tin Woodsman: Now I know I've got a heart, 'cause it's breaking... 

But also, nothing else in your body is capable of bouncing back like the heart does. Indeed the muscle that could. It hardens with time, and before you even notice it, it's back right into shape. You realize then that the muscle you so wished away is your only foul-weather companion, that no one will ever push you forward like the heart does, even though it's just as down on the floor as you are.

I've always loved The Wonderful Wizard of Oz; and though Dorothy is somewhat annoying, the other main characters are simply adorable. My favorite's always been the Scarecrow, and I've always pitied the Lion. But the one I admire the most is by far the Tin Woodman (or simply Tinman, in the 1939 movie). The guy just wanted a simple flimsy heart. 

"All the same," said the Scarecrow, "I shall ask for brains instead of a heart; for a fool would not know what to do with a heart if he had one."
"I shall take the heart," returned the Tin Woodman; "for brains do not make one happy, and happiness is the best thing in the world."

I pity and admire the Tin Woodman - and I pity and admire the heart. Such a heartbreaking little thing.

Movie Listing (2006)

Hellish year, a year of going back and forth - totally my fault, but I guess this is how we learn. By continuously screwing up. Although 2006 does encompass one of the best trips of my life ever, and a brotherhood. Could've been worse. But excellent movies galore!

My favorite movies of 2006:
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest - directed by Gore Verbinski, starring Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Jack Davenport and Bill Nighy. Originally a sequel, but that detracts nothing from its excellence. They managed to pick up the story from where it'd been left off, with a plot that actually takes us to events before The Curse of the Black Pearl - as though the first movie had been nothing but a lump on the way: "Ok, now that that's taken care of, let's go back to the real big one! You were saying, Davy boy? Eternal servitude in the afterlife? Uh... I don't think so." And so it begins. The only teeny tiny downside of this movie is the slow heating up of the love triangle between Sparrow, Elizabeth and Will Turner (I totally see where she's coming from, though). Other than that, the plot unravels smoothly before our eyes, this time bringing more of the classic pirate legends, such as The Flying Dutchman (one of my favorite stories as a kid) and the Kraken. Sparrow's still the same charismatic scoundrel, with the same swagger and slurred speech. And the only one capable of rivaling Depp this time is Nighy. His surprisingly touching rockstar had me duly impressed in Love Actually - but now, we're talking business here, excuse me! And none of those disgusting tentacles on his face overshadow his acting, not even for a split second! What a great, great villain! The producer Jerry Bruckheimer (for whom I have the utmost respect, the guy's responsible for everything that is awesome) and director Verbinski make sure that the action scenes (with some amazing sword fights), costumes and make-up (Davy Jones' crustracean-like crew??? Wow!) are faultless. And to end it with a bang... the great Geoffrey Rush, Capitain Barbossa back from the dead himself! A must-see of the year.

V for Vendetta - directed by James McTeigue, starring Hugo Weaving, Natalie Portman, Stephen Fry, John Hurt and Stepehn Rea. After the Matrix trilogy, anything with the Wachowski brothers' signature is mandatory, even if just for the visual effects. But you know what? There's much, much more to V than visual effects (unlike The Matrix Reloaded and The Matrix Revolutions). Even though we owe the screenplay to the Wachowskis, there's still a big thanks to be given to their protegé McTeigue, who does not allow the action to overthrow the story from its reigning place. Weaving, with his more than imposing voice, gives V the right tone, and making us forget all about his still very recent Agent Smith and Elrond. Natalie Portman is amazing here, proving herself once again as a great asset to Hollywood. The story is extremely well-conducted, keeping you on the edge of your seat throughout the entire picture. And by the time the slow-motion shows up, you can't associate it to The Matrix anymore - that link's been dropped quite a while ago: it's a story about the human condition; ideas are more important than the slow-moving bullets. Alan Moore was crazy to disinherit this movie... another must-see, time and time again.
P.S.: it was released in the end of 2005 in the U.S.A., but in the beginning of 2006 in every other place around the globe (I mean, except for Turkey, where it was released last year!...)

Casino Royale - directed by Martin Campbell, starring Daniel Craig, Eva Green, Mads Mikkelsen, Judy Dench, Jeffrey Wright and Giancarlo Giannini. When I heard Pierce Brosnan wouldn't play Bond anymore, I was extremely disappointed, he'd been the first 007 I'd ever known. Then, I was told Daniel Craig had gotten the part. "Daniel Who?" "One of the guys from Munich. You know, the one with the knives." "Oh... isn't he blond?!". From thence, I was entirely resolved not to like him, because... how could 007 ever be blond??? And the guy wasn't even charming! That was the mood in which I set out to watch the new movie. It started, and - what the hell was the new James Bond doing, chasing someone in such a crude manner?! That was NOT him! But a classy 007 was slowly coming to surface. It had to be a slow buildup, it was the beginning (such a movie was only possible due to this recent "the beginning" fad: the 2nd Star Wars trilogy, Batman Begins, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, etc.). That coarse, brutal agent James becomes the refined, coldly efficient Bond. James Bond. And right before our eyes. The initial James is unsympathetic but innately human, and he finishes off as the complete opposite: so likeable, and yet less human - the one who does not fall in love. Even the way he fights changes! And in the end, with his "the bitch is dead" and "Bond. James Bond.", we finally have him. (And I realized I missed the first one!). And Daniel Craig surely lived up to the challenge! Before I knew it, I was all "what an incredibly charming guy! And he's soooo British!". And his dry humor, the quintessential Bond humor, was there - the guy had completely nailed it. After Vesper Lynd (to my great pleasure, brilliantly played by Eva Green, that woman's just downright gorgeous and a great actress) makes her entrance, I was irrevocably in love with Craig. The plot's really strong, Le Chiffre is a great Bondesque villain (and this time, your villain comes not with one, but TWO physical dysfunctions!), and Vesper's gotta be the best Bond girl in a reaaaally long time. Also: no other Bond would've convincingly withstood that serious testicle torture, are you kidding me? No way Brosnan, Connery, Moore or any other could've pulled acting that off! (Outrageously awesome scene, btw). No, Craig owned it, like no one else would. I dare not say such a thing anywhere near diehard Bond fans, but after Casino Royale, I'm like "Sean who?".

Once - directed by John Carney, starting Glen Hansard and Markéta Irglová. First of all, I gotta say I did not see this movie in 2006, but in 2009. I wondered if it fitted the category of "my favorite movies from 2006"; but it was released in 2006, and it IS one of my favorite movies - not from 2006, but ever! So here it is. This totally under the radar Irish movie snatched away the Oscar for Best Original Song from the hands of my dear Alan Menken and his Enchanted soundtrack, leaving me pissed. Both leading actors have already stated they do not intend to pursue the acting career, and would rather focus on music. This movie was shot in 17 days. By the time I decided to watch this movie, I didn't see how anything good could possibly come out of it. Instead, what did come out of it was something breathtakingly touching. Simple, honest, beautiful, bittersweet and mandatory for anyone who loves movies, good dialogs and brilliant music. This is simplicity and artistry at their best. Gorgeous, as very few things have managed to be so far. And the soundtrack is sooooo worth listening to over and over again, even if you haven't seen the movie.

Others worthy of notice in 2006:

Little Miss Sunshine, The Pursuit of Happyness, Babel, The Illusionist, The Prestige, The Devil Wears Prada, Marie Antoinette, Dreamgirls, Blood Diamond, The Black Dhalia, Astérix et les Vikings, World Trade Center, The Departed, Superman Returns, Ice Age: The Meltdown, Charlotte's Web, The Pink Panther, Happy Feet, Hell, X-Men 3. 

Snakes on a Plane - AWESOME!!!! There's no way a movie can possibly get any worse, this is a masterpiece!!! I laughed throughout the entire film! Everyone should watch it! I just think it's a shame that Samuel Jackson needed money so bad... was there not a friend to lend it to him?

High School Musical - ...... I have two younger cousins, and as I was spending my vacations with them, they bugged the shit out of me to watch it. So I did. I found it sooooo annoying... such a bad mimicking of musicals... so I loved it!  I can sing all the songs now, and I actually have a slight crush on Zac Efron. It's my guilty pleasure... but the movie really does suck - however, it's a good entertainment for kids.

The Butterly Effect 2 - so uncalled for. The first one was already badly done - even though the idea of it is good, albeit cliché. (The Time Machine, hello!). But to make a second one??? At least, it's got the advantage of not having Ashton Kutcher in it, that's gotta be worth something!

Step Up - nothing that hadn't already been done in Dirty Dancing, seriously. And much better at that, despite the cheesy cheesy lines. Even Save the Last Dance, with Julia Cutest-Ever Styles, managed to be better. But again, another guilty pleasure.

She's the Man - Do you remember 10 Things I Hate About You, with, again, Julia Cutest-Ever Styles and gone-way-way-too-soon Heath Ledger? Well, as you might or might not know, it was actually based on the shakespearean play The Taming of the Shrew. And it turned out to be really good - yes, in a teenager-ish way, but really good. Well, She's the Man follows the same idea: it's based on the shakespearean play Twelfth Night, in a teenager-ish way as well. AND IT SUCKS! I cannot believe someone had the nerve of inflicting such horrors upon one of the best things ever written in English Literature - nay, in universal literature. How dare they?! And on top of that, they gave AMANDA BYNES the role of Viola, one of the greatest feminine roles in universal theatre? Wtf?!?! This has to be the movie I hate the most, among all the movies I've ever seen.