Having Nightmares with Disney (or: 10 Creepy Disney Moments) - Part 1

I'm not ashamed to say out loud that, though I'm pushing 30, I still love Disney movies, and cry each time I see Aladdin freeing the Genie or Mufasa dying and Simba trying to wake him up.

It beats Bambi's mother's death anytime. [sobs]

Disney movies are extremely beautiful, animation and story-wise, not to mention the breathtaking soundtracks. And the children can usually learn something from it.

Usually, not always. Signing pacts with the devil doesn't exactly scream filial obedience.

Nevertheless, sometimes Disney awards us with scenes and/or songs that are truly nightmare-fuel. After all, sleeping soundly is totally overrated.

10. Tangled: “Mother Knows Best [Reprise]”

I LOVED Tangled! It's a great movie with great soundtrack and characters (specially the über charming Flynn Ryder, and I'd been waiting for so long for another captivating Disney princess like Rapunzel) and does not fail to entertain. It's simply adorable.

Rapunzel's been locked in a tower for her whole life of 18 years. When runnaway dashing thief Flynn Ryder breaks into the tower to flee from the law, the girl sees in him the opportunity she needs to leave and make her dream come true: see the floating lanterns that appear in the night sky on her birthday every year.

As I said, it's an adorable movie. IF you don't count the scene when the witch who pretends to be Rapunzel's mother, Mother Gothel, finds Rapunzel in the forest and puts her DOOOOOOOWN.

 “Why would he like you, come on now, really? Look at you! You think that he's impressed?” Jeez. That's exactly the kind of mother that pushes their 15-year old daughters in the direction of anorexia.

9. The Beauty and the Beast: “The Mob Song”

Released in 91, this was the studio's biggest hit since the 40's. It also made history by being the first animation to ever be nominated for an Academy Award of Best Picture (back when the nominees amounted only to 5). It was nominated for Best Original Song as well, for 3 different songs (“Belle”, “Be Our Guest” and “Beauty and the Beast”), taking the award with “Beauty and the Beast” AND for Best Original Score.

Belle is the only person to have ever taken the risk to get to know the Beast, and they fall in love. But the villagers, as good villagers always do, decide to march to the Beast's castle with torches and pitchforks.

Gaston is not so great a villain, he's much more of a jerk, really. BUT he casts a whole new light upon himself while leading the villagers. The line “We don't like what we don't understand” is very medieval and always current. Collective hysteria can be terrifying.  

8. The Little Mermaid : Ursula's death

Disney had been having a bad time up to 89, with their movies underperforming at the box office; but upon the release of The Little Mermaid, what is today known as the “Disney Renaissance” began, i.e., it was the beginning of a new golden era for animated movies: unforgettable classics for the audiences and astronomic profit for the studio. (It ended in 99 after Tarzan. In my opinion, it's no surprise.)

The story is great (albeit greatly distorted from the original tale) score and songs are addictive ("undah tha sea, undah tha sea, dahling it's bettah, down where it's wettah, take it from me!"), Ariel is charismatic, Eric is the first prince to have not only a name but also a personality...

Yes, nameless bland Cinderella prince, I'm looking at you.

...Sebastian, Flounder and Scuttle are great sidekicks, and Ursula is a fantastic villain, specially in her scary-but-fascinating looks.

And the way she dies is just plain frightening.

When I was a child and watched this on tape, I'd always fast-foward it, cause I was shit scared of this scene. Dying impaled is already quite ugly, but the added lightnings, her skeleton and her tentacles wrapping around the ship are the cherry in a cake of sheer horror.

7. Dumbo: Dumbo and Timothy Drunk

Dumbo (1941) lasts for mere 65 minutes, and it's gotta be one of Disney's most charming and unpretentious movies ever.

The baby elephant Dumbo suffers bullying from everybody around him (animals and people alike), because of his ginormous ears. But when he learns to fly using those ears (with the help of some offensively stereotyped crows), he quickly becomes the main attraction in the circus. And they all lived happily ever after.

But before living happily ever after there was this petrifying scene when Dumbo and his mouse mentor Timothy get accidentally drunk, after drinking water mixed with champagne.

I used to fast-forward it as well. I mean, dude: There's an elephant made of other elephants, and its eyes become pyramids, and from behind them comes a camel-elephant that turns into a serpent that turns into an odalisque, and her belly turns into an eye! This must be the devil! And their CHANTING “pink elephants on parade” really doesn't help.

6. The Lion King: “Be Prepared”

Released in 94, this movie remains as one of the studio's biggest successes ever – and it still is one of the most lucrative animated movies in history. Another record: Mufasa's death, plotted by his brother Scar, is definitely one of the saddest Disney scenes ever, and it must've made thousands of kids cry around the globe at the same time.

Besides the amazing score and soundtrack by Elton John, a Hamlet touch to a great plot, Darth Vader talking to Ferris Bueller through the clouds and a Mr. Miyagi baboon, The Lion King also stands out for having one of the darkest songs, showing Scar and the hyenas' ambition.

That surely is a very accurate recreation of Hell. Everything in green and red, bones and decomposing carcasses everywhere... *shivers*. Notice the fact that Scar basically kills a hyena, making it fall into one of those hellish fissures! And the evil-faced hyenas marching is the epitome of nazi terror. In the end, they all rise as if from Hell. And though this can be quite frightening, I just can't help loving this song, it's very catchy!

I can't help loving Jeremy Irons, either. Jeremy, please marry me. 

To be continued...

Admitting Guilty Pleasures II

 4. Boy bands

Their time is long long gone, along with my teenage years. Those bands started falling apart, and each of the singers went after their solo careers (or NASA careers – yes, I'm looking at you, Lance Bass. What the hell were you thinking? NASA, seriously?! Yeah, right, you can sing Bye bye bye to that).

They all sang pretty well and the music in itself was always either rather groovy or quite pretty. But C'MON, have you listened to the lyrics?

The Backstreet Boys' I want It That Way: “You are my fire, the one desire, believe when I say, I want it that way”.

We've Got It Goin' On? “Jam on cause Backstreet's got it, come on now everybody we've got it goin' on”.

Incomplete: “Empty spaces fill me up with holes, distant faces with no place left to go”. How clever!

'N Sync's I Need Love: “I need love, you need love, we all really need love. All I want, all I need, we all really need love”.

Tearing Up My Heart: “It's tearing up my heart when I'm with you, but when we are apart, I feel it too, and no matter what I do I feel the pain, with or without you.” #U2feelings?

5ive's Everybody Get Up: “Everybody get up, singing 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 will make you get down now!” Yeah sure, whatever British dudes.

And don't even get me started on Westlife.

No matter how well they sing those songs, the lyrics always remind me of a wine tasting session: whiny and cheesy. Those songs only talk about three things: a) a girl the singer loves but can't have – she's either friend-zoned him, or she's dating some jackass; b) a girl who left him cause of some stupid mistake he made, and now the singer's begging her to come back; c) a girl he used to love and now hates cause she left him (usually for some other guy with more money).

However, there's a reason why I know their lyrics well enough to write them down without having to google them. I still have all of them in my iPod, and yes, I still listen to them. Just yesterday I was cleaning up while singing It's Gonna Be Me. I like to listen to those horribly tacky songs, and I like to sing along, and make faces while at it.

In my iPod, all of those boy band songs are in a folder called “Things I'm not proud of”. But they're all there. And when the Backstreet Boys came to Brazil last year, I went to their show. Proudly. Or almost.

Also: I still have a HUGE crush on Justin Timberlake. Britney seriously lost the best catch in Hollywood. 

3. High School Musical

VanessaHudgens HAS to be one of the most annoying actresses I've ever seen. Her pretty face is too small, her voice is too pitchy, and everything she says sounds annoyingly self-righteous. Besides, her character in the movie, Gabriella, is ridiculously exasperating: she's pretty, she's part of the scholastic decathlon team, she can sing well, she's incapable of harming anyone, or saying anything mean, she's C'MON! If there's one thing Hollywood producers, executives and screen writers have yet to learn is this: perfect protagonists are impossible to empathize with. We like to see flawed characters, characters that mirror ourselves. Which is why most people end up rooting for the villain or the underdog rather than the hero/heroine of the story. A thoroughly nice beautiful girl that can do everything perfectly is definitely not the mirror of the average Jane.

Same thing goes for Zac Efron's character, Troy: he's abusively handsome, a nice son, a nice friend, a nice student, a nice boyfriend, the complete jock, captain of the basketball team, he can sing well, AND he's got loads of charisma (something Vanessa Hudgens definitely lacks). Again, not your average Joe.

The premise of the movie is also kind of stupid: Troy and Gabriella's friends have a hard time understanding that they have other interests? They can't accept the fact that those kids might be interested in something else other than playing basketball/studying Math? What kind of world is that where people can only like and be good at one thing??

And yet, I've seen the three movies, I've got the complete soundtrack in my iPod, and I can sing almost every song. And I have a blast every time I watch the movies/listen to the songs. A few things that occur to me in my defense: 1. Zac Efron is really handsome and charismatic; 2. the songs are nice to sing along; 3. the “villains” are funny as hell; 4. it's better for a child or a teenager to be watching this than some movie full of violence and sex. Am I right?

To be continued...

Drinking

"All romantics meet the same fate someday: cynical and drunk, and boring someone in some dark café."

I still remember that time. These bottles piled up in front of me, they stop me from seeing everyone else at the other tables – but they cannot stop me from seeing his ghost. The ghost of his presence and his words.

I’d left the party earlier than I’d planned: I was bored. And as I went by the bar I heard someone calling my my name; there he was, almost buried amongst all the bottles. With a cigarette in his hand, he waved for me to come in.

As I sat down he smiled his half-smile at me, which, coming from him, was basically royal favor.

“Where are you coming from at such a late hour, young lady?” he asked, ironical as always.

“From a party” I answered, grabbing the only bottle with something left in it.

“And it’s already over? What a pathetic party!”

I laughed: “It’s not over, I just… left. I was bored there.”  He looked at me wide-eyed, faking a surprise I knew he was far from feeling – he was the very epitome of blasé.  

“Bored? At a party? It is so hard to entertain our youth nowadays!”

I laughed once again, indulgent: that huge number of bottles had obviously not affected his unpleasant sense of humor. I didn’t mind it.

“It’s not my kind of party, that’s all." 

"Elaborate.”

“Well, I don’t know… people were only interested in sleeping around, and… it’s all so cheap.”

“And are you a virgin?” he asked, indifferent.

“What makes you think you can ask me that question?” I replied, calmly.

“The fact that I know you’re not, young lady.”

Check.

“Whatever.”

He smiled – a smile herald of uncomfortable and questionable truths he was so fond of. Without saying another word to me, he called over the waitress and asked for two more beers.

While we waited, he remained in silence. He was content with examining me from the other side of the table, smoking his cigarette as if he were not aware of doing it at all. I felt awkward, naked even. He was not only staring, he was x-raying my every thought.

The beers, at last. He opened one and gave it to me with these words:

“So: I have a romantic in front of me, huh?”

I was surprised: “What makes you say that?” I asked slowly, drinking my beer and not at all sure I wanted to hear the answer. But my wanting an answer or not wouldn’t make much of a difference. I went on: “Just cause I’m not fond of sleeping around?”

“No, not at all! I’d never say you’re a romantic because of that. I’d say you’re frigid.”

I choked on my beer. He ignored it and continued.

“But your sex life does not interest me. I say you’re a romantic not because of your actions, but because of your convictions. You’re quick in labeling: sleep around, cheap… labels, just labels.”

“You’re saying I judge other people?”

“You judge yourself. Not by what you do, but by what you don’t do.”

Check. I didn’t have an immediate answer for that, and silence fell upon us. Finally:

“Are you my analyst now?”

“Were I an analyst, I’d abstain myself from giving you my opinions. You clearly know nothing about analysis. You should study more instead of going to parties.” He finished, letting his eyes wander around the bar.

If his goal was annoying me – of which I was almost sure – he was getting dangerously close to it.

“What’s your point anyway?”

He deigned to look at me once more. “I thought it was clear. You’re a romantic. There.”

I sighed. Did I want to continue that conversation? He knew he wanted to: “You’re not a virgin, but you firmly believe sex should exist only between two people who love each other. Right? You never say so, but that’s what you think.”

I looked back at him.

“What if it is?”

“No need to defend yourself, I’m not attacking you!” He opened up his arms, in a defenseless gesture. I said nothing. “That’s the worst kind of romanticism: idealized and coward. The worst because it’s the hardest to get rid of. It’s more deeply rooted in our nature than anything else – just like our cowardice.” He gestured vaguely with one hand, while the other raked his dark hair.

I still said nothing, looking back at him with hostile eyes to which he paid no attention.

“It  eventually ends up like this: cynicism and intoxication, boring someone else in some dark café. It’s our fate.”

“You put yourself in this group?”

“I’m here, aren’t I?”

“Is it all still because of her?”

He didn’t answer; I knew I’d gone where I shouldn’t have, and I regretted it instantly: his face twisted for a split second in an expression of the deepest pain - but before I could even process that, he was back to his usual indifference:

“You know it’s true. You may laugh, you may think you’re immune… you’re not. Take a look at your eyes, those dreamy little eyes of yours. They dream of roses and kisses by the moonlight. Lies, little girl, lies… pretty, but still lies… when are you gonna realize that?”

Silence. He’d said everything he wanted to, and I was still trying to cope. He was beyond drunk – but did that make his speech any less true?

Dawn was making its way into the world already, and there were only the two of us in the bar. There was still a song playing – something melancholy and depressing, and he hummed along, while the waitress was already cleaning everything up.

I finally attacked: “You haven’t really changed, you know, and you’re not as bitter as you think. You just… like to romanticize your own pain. You think your eyes have tombs in them, but truly, listen to what you’re humming right now: a love song. When are you gonna get back on your feet, anyway? It’s about time.”

He stared at me, bewildered. Bull’s eye, and we both knew it. I was triumphant, he hadn’t expected a counter-attack. Finally, as if reading my thoughts, he answered, clearly amused:

“Checkmate. Fine then. You can take my king, young lady, but someday you’ll realize the moral victory is mine.”

I laughed out loud: “Aren’t you a sore loser!... You may not agree with me right now, and that’s okay – but there’s no greater feat that falling and standing up once again… young man! ” I finished, parodying him.

He bowed his head, in an ironical deference.

That was the last time I saw him. After some time, we were told he’d gone abroad. And when he came back, a year later, he was married. Married! They say his wife’s adorable, they’ve even been seen skating together on the lake. They’ve got all the comforts of a modern house, such as a dishwasher and a coffee percolator. His bar-pilgrimage days are over: he drinks at home now, by his wife’s side. They drink, watch tv with the lights on and are happy together. Some say they wanna have a kid.

The bar’s about to close. The waitress is once more cleaning everything up, just like that other night seven years ago. She may be a different waitress, but I wouldn’t know. There’s no one on the other side of the table, and I wouldn’t have it any other way: I don’t want anyone coming over, I’ve got nothing to talk about, to anyone. He was right. In my innocence, I took his king, without realizing the board and the pieces were his. All I’ve got left is the romantic legacy: hiding behind a dozen bottles, in a dark café.

Someday, I shall pass it to someone else, and fly away from my cocoon. But until then, only the darkness of a bar.

Bursting into song

"I hate it."
I looked at him, utterly shocked. "You... WHAT?"
"I hate movies where people burst into song, can't stand them."
"What's wrong with you?"
My friend M.H. is crazy, pft. I LOVE musicals. Can't get enough of them. And today, after I got back home from work, I decided to watch one of my fave movies ever: The Sound of Music.

It was the first musical I ever watched - well, not counting Disney classics. My parents loved to try and make me love the same movies they did - sometimes it worked, at other times not so much. But one fine night dad came home with The Sound of Music for me to watch, and I was immediately fascinated by all those people singing right and left. Not to mention the story's pretty enticing in itself, and they got some great dialogs, very witty. And I remember wanting to be like Liesl, Captain Von Trapp's eldest daughter, when I grew up.
Needless to say, I look NOTHING like a 16-year-old Austrian Girl from the 30's - with my being Brazilian and all, with native Brazilians as grandparents.
Point is: I love those singing Austrians, I really really do. And the speed at which the Von Trapp children learn how to sing never ceases to amaze me. I mean, seriously? They go up to Maria and say: "we don't know any songs, we don't even know how to sing"; then she sings the magic "Do-Re-Mi" song, and all of a sudden, they're a singing phenomenon?! Dude!!
And Rolfe, the telegram boy - could he be ANY gayer?! Nothing against it, far from it, but Liesl should've realized that guy was really not into it. The Nazi thing was just an excuse to get out of it. There's the girl, throwing herself at him, wanting to kiss him... and he pushes her aside and goes "Your life, little girl, is an empty stage...". C'mon Liesl, wake up and smell the flowers.
I love all the songs, even though the whole thing is extremely farfetched. Really: Maria and the Captain finally admit their love for each other, they kiss - it's most likely Maria's first kiss ever, and what does she do? Does she take the time to enjoy it? Nooooo, she bursts into song about her wicked childhood. I'm like "Sister, zip it! Really not the time!"

I caught myself wondering whether she sings in bed too. You know, while AT IT. I wouldn't be surprised! That must be such a turn off for the poor Cap.

But that's the thing about musicals: the burst-into-song thing rarely makes any kind of sense. I mean, no one in real life - at least no one I know - is capable of coming up with wonderful songs out of the blue, not even people who deal with music in some way or another for a living. And when the characters start DANCING together in a perfect coreography?! My eyes sparkle and all! I mean, take Grease for instance.
"What did you do over the summer?" Cue song about summer love - and in no time they're all dancing on the benches.
"Let's pimp this ride!" Cue song about the Grease Lightning, and John Travolta dancing around said car.
"I turned into a jock for you!" "And I turned into some kind of slut for you!" Cue "You're the one that I want", and they all start dancing to it.

I dare anyone to say Singing in the Rain is a bad movie. Whenever I'm really happy, I look up at the sky in the hope I'll see some drops of rain, so that I'll be able to sing and frolic in it! And whenever someones mentions anything about diction, I just wanna sing "Moses Supposes".

Do these things happen in real life? No, they do not! And that's the beauty of it! Wanna see reality? Tune to CNN then. Rio de Janeiro was all caught up in a kind of civil war last week, and things got real tense around here. We have our daily share of reality everyday - there's no harm in seeing people singing and dancing about, I don't know, getting someone else a glass of water! If everybody burst into song and danced more often, the world would be such a better place to live in. According to Fraulein Maria, all you gotta do is know the notes: "When you know the notes to sing, you can sing most anything!"

Talking About the Princess

Did you know, still I miss you somehow? We could have worked things out, taking time is what love's all about.

Nope, I'm not heartbroken, thank you; in case you haven't recognized them, the opening lines of this post belong to Britney Spears' From the Bottom of My Broken Heart.

Yep. Britney.

The girl needs no introduction, methinks, other than simply her name.

The other day I had my iPod on shuffle mode, and it went something like Thru The Eyes Of Ruby (The Smashing Pumpkins), Gallows Pole (Led Zeppelin), Hallelujah (k.d. Lang) - so far, so good. Then all of a sudden my iPod started letting me down: Mmmbop (Hanson), which I skipped before I could be seen muttering the lyrics; but when it got to I Need You Tonight (Backstreet Boys) I was seriously disturbed.

I know, I know, it's my own fault. He (it's green-ish blue, therefore, my iPod is a he) wouldn't have given me those songs hadn't I fed him with stuff like that (there. I have this one too).

Anyway, after giving me Heartbreaker (Pat Benatar) - talk about the 80's, huh? - I could hear the first words of Overprotected, by Britney. One of my guilty pleasures.

Following the inevitable scent of nostalgia, I took him off the shuffle mode, and started listening to all Britney's songs I have in there. And boy was it a trip down Memory Lane!

I saw the Sometimes video on MTV for the very first time when I was 14, and I fell in love with it. Yes, I've always been a softie! I asked my parents for her cd; my dad wanted to die: his only daugher was not asking for The Nutcracker or The Four Seasons anymore, but for some "American pop crap", as he called it. But mom laughed it off, and I got the cd as a junior-high graduation gift.

My first high-school year started in March, 2000, and I could sing all the songs in the goddamn cd. 

(I owe a lot to Britney, by the way: Britney and all those boy bands taught me a lot of my English!)

My first broken heart came a couple of months after that, and the soundtrack of the whole process was, of course, Born to Make You Happy, and the whole thing couldn't possibly get any cornier! Why do teenagers have to be so so damn dramatic? My world was falling apart.

Then, Brazilian Valentine's Day came (on June 12th), and MTV Brasil had a special, showing only videos of cheesy romantic songs. And, obviously, it included From the Bottom of My Broken Heart. 

I started crying. 

The guy I liked wouldn't have anything to do with me anymore, and because it was my own fault - I'd toyed with his feeligs, and gotten a deserved reward for that. 

We ended up being friends again, and we're still in very nice speaking terms. All the uncalled-for drama!

That same year I'd buy, as a Christmas gift for myself, her second cd, Oops!... I Did It Again. 

With her third cd, I confess, my 16-year-old prudish mind was shocked: what was she doing, with that I'm a Slave 4 U thing? Oh god! (I was an extremely well-behaved 16-year-old.) I liked the song nonetheless - but I simply loved Overprotected. And I wouldn't stop listening to it for a very long time.

By that time, however, I was already growing out of pop music; my journey towars rock had already begun, and I was starting to despise all things Britney and 'NSync-like.

Because, of course, teenagers usually know no middle-ground. You either hate or love something. It doesn't occur to you, when you're 16 going on 17, that two completely different music genres can be good.

But no matter how much I worshipped Foo Fighter's Times Like These, I still loved Britney's Toxic.

The years passed, and while I was saving money to buy Green Day's American Idiot and chasing down Jewel cds in every single store (Jewel is hard to find around here), I heard everywhere about her first marriage, the annulment, and her second marriage. And all the time there was this thought in some corner of my mind "Why did she break up with Justin in the first place? He's way hotter than any of these guys!"

I still have a crush on Justin Timberlake.

I also have a crush on Paul Bettany - you can't help those things.

But a crush on Justin is way more understandable than on Bettany.

It's just that Bettany got the accent, you know.

Jennifer Connelly is one lucky woman.

Moving on: as the scandals involving the pop princess kept on coming, I got more and more disappointed - where was that cute little girl from Sometimes? And I guess I can say her personal life and the all problems that followed tainted the whole pop thing for me for good back then.  

Yeah, cause rock stars do it all right, and never ever screw up. No scandals in the rock world.

Nowadays I'm ok with Britney, and I'm slightly curious to listen to her new songs. But I still have no idea what 3 and Womanizer sound like - as I said, I'm only slightly curious.

I've been looking more and more towards the past to find music I really like - there are few artists still recording I'm actually a fan of. Most of my favorites are now either dead, retired or disbanded.

And while I have dismissed ...Baby One More Time and Oops!... I Did It Again entirely, while some of my favorite cds are Nevermind (Nirvana), Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness (The Smashing Pumpkins) and Physical Graffiti (Led Zeppelin), I still can't stop listening to Overprotected. Because the song and the girl are just that good.

My friend Massimo has also talked about this song - brilliantly, I should add - in his great blog (albeit kinda on a break, it's still great), and you can both listen to the song and read his smart and enticing post here.

Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'll wrap this up and download Womanizer, to see what the fuss is all about.

Missing

That I Would Be Good

by Alanis Morissette 

That I would be good, even if I did nothing

That I would be good, even if I got the thumbs down

That I would be good, if I got and stayed sick

That I would be good, even if I gained ten pounds

That I would be fine,  even if I went bankrupt

That I would be good, if I lost my hair and my youth

That I would be great, if I was no longer queen

That I would be grand, if I was not all-knowing

That I would be loved, even when I numb myself

That I would be good,even when I'm overwhelmed

That I would be loved, even when I was fuming

That I would be good, even if I was clinging

That I would be good, even if I lost sanity

That I would be good, whether with or without you.

 

Sympathizing

 "I want adventure in the great, wide Somewhere

I want it more than I can tell

And for once it might be grand

To have someone understand

I want so much more than they've got planned..."

(The Beauty and the Beast, Belle (reprise))

Raining

We're always learning. Ooops, cliché alert!

Well, what I've learnt this week is that I need to learn (wow, isn't that repetitive?!) how not to give a crap.

Why?

Raindrops are falling on my head/ But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turning red/ crying is not for me/ Cause/ I'm never gonna stop the rain by complaining/ Because I'm free/ Nothing's worrying me.
(Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head, B. J. Thomas)

Right on the money.

The rain always, always falls -  how we face it depends entirely on us.
(Credits to M. H., for a great metaphor.)

Somedays we're just not in the mood - we're all dressed up, our hair nicely done, and we don't wanna get wet. We do, and then we get pissed.

Somedays we're in the right mood for that - we see the first raindrops battering agaisnt the windowpane, and we rush out the door, parched for some rain. Gettting wet is all we wanna do then (no pun intended, please).

Somedays we're neither here nor there - and then we think "screw this, I'm already wet, I'm gonna fuck" (pun intended). If life gives you a lemon... you know how the chorus goes. Getting wet, whether we like it or not, that's life. However, we seek shelter from it nonetheless. And that's what relationships are: a shelter from the rain, when it's pouring down.
But shelters are built by human hands, are they not? Just like everything that is human, they're weak. They, too, leak; and we get wet.
At such a time we have two options ahead of us: we can either get pissed all over again, and not forgive our shelter for having failed us so - or we can remind ourselves that, had we built it, it might've been just as weak, and allow others to make mistakes as well. And not give a crap about being wet.
Not giving a crap makes us much, much lighter. Being soaked - to your very bones - and not giving a tiny little rat's ass... talk about freeing.

Celebrating (?)

Really? Already? Damn, it's time to go home. If only I knew where that was.

"There is a feeling/ That you should just go home/ And spend a lifetime/ Finding out just where that is"

(Cathedrals, by Jump Little Children)

Wanting (to be)

OneRepublic: not the greatest band in the world - for me, their songs are pretty much all alike; not to mention the stuff frontman Ryan Tedder writes for all those female singers. And they're all alike too, no matter what he says about the whole "Halo x Already Gone" saga (and YES, the songs DO sound the same...). But I gotta say: I love Leona's Bleeding Love.
Anyway: OneRepublic's not the greatest band, nor the most original (And let's face it: Apologize has just been too overtly played on the radio for anyone to even bear the sound of it ever again...); it doesn't matter, I still like their songs - particularly Stop and Stare. The song's catchy, specially the chorus, and I truly enjoy the lyrics. And there's this verse, "You start to wonder why you're here not there", that got me thinking.
So true, isn't it?
We do it everyday: we wonder why this and not that, here and not there, she and not me, there and not here... we're never satisfied with where we are, what we do and who we are. We always want more.
Now that's not so bad! I think one's gotta have ambitions, gotta want to go places, see people and do stuff. I'm right there with ya! Not so keen on the idea on wanting to BE something else, though. Don't ever aim at being someone else. Aim at being a better you, at being good. At least, the best you can be. That's what life is, or should be, all about.

"I want to be good" (Billy Crudup as Fielding Pierce in Waking the dead)

"I want to be a good person" (Johnny Depp as Gibert in What’s eating Gilbert Grape)

(Credits to Iris H. who wrote a wonderful post on that: http://www.hirideyo.com/journal/iris/2009/08/25/good)

Some people say As Good As It Gets is overrated; I don't think so, I think that's a kick-ass movie. And Nicholson's got this line which is downright perfect - and anyone who's ever watched it will know which one it is before even reading it, cus it's just so obvious:
"You make me want to be a better man" (Jack Nicholson as Melvin Udall)
Man, that's great! Cheesy? Yeah, totally - so what? Let's not underrate cheesy... still works everytime!
And he who's never had someone that made him wanna be a better man is just a sad person.
I have. I still do. Some have grown apart, some have gone away, some were like a summer breeze, never meant to last, whereas others have come to stay.

I've got this Tuesdays and Thursdays best friend, M.H. (he's my best friend everyday, but he's only available on these specific days, and some lucky Wednesdays, lol). I wish I was as intelligent and sharp as him. While he's a master, I'm still a young padawan with a long way to go...
I wish I was as responsible, intelligent and talented as Tri. Talk about an inspiration.
I wish I was as outgoing and just plain NICE as Na. What a freakingly nice girl! Something hard to come by nowadays, let alone be. She's the real thing.
As sensible and clear-sighted as Ma. Hope it rubs off!
As studious and responsible as Ch.
As calm and collected as G.
As silent, good and firm in his convictions as Canadian M.
As detached from the shallow as these last two.
As perceptive and gentle as Jo.

I just wanna be good.
And most of all, I wanna stop wanting to be and just... be.

Answering II

The goal here is to answer these (at times dramatic) questions using only names of songs by ONE singer/band - and without repeating the titles!
Let's see:

Pick Your Artist:
Jewel

Are you a male or female:
Little Sister

Describe yourself:
I'm Sensitive

How do you feel:
Haunted

Describe where you currently live:
The New Wild West

If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
Barcelona

Your favorite form of transportation:
Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer (I've never taken it, but I sure would love to!!!)

Your best friend is:
Fragile Heart

You and your best friends are:
Dreamer

What’s the weather like:
Winter Wonderland

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called:
I Wonder As I Wander

What is life to you:
Circle Song

Your fear:
Standing Still

What is the best advice you have to give:
Everybody Needs Someone Sometime

How I would like to die:
Sweet Dreams For You

My soul’s present condition:
Deep Water

Hibernating

... will ya?

Falling

I can't say why it happens only to some people and not to others. Some just have the amazing/saddening capacity of not falling for/being esnlaved by a certain feeling, or thing, thought, person, memory.

It's an inate ability of letting yourself dive so deeply into something that you end up not knowing how to get out of it. Be it to something harmless, such as a certain kind of medicinal tea, or to something a little bit more than that.
It doesn't really matter why it happens - it just matters that it does.

She's the addicted one, whereas he's Addiction itself, holding its grip on her.

They're apart. He's standing there, nothing nor no one in his arms - but they're still wide open to welcome her. And she, who was so far from him, finds herself running desperately towards him, grasping at him. The moment she gets there he smiles, pleased. And starts working his fascination over her. She offers no resistance, and is like a puppet in his hands. After playing with her for a couple of seconds, he grabs her with the greatest of ease, and places her exactly where he wants her.
She has no will of her own so far - she'd wanted that. Take a good look at her face: it shows nothing but weariness.
And she keeps on moving according to his commands; he keeps on smiling, it's just too easy. He places her there, she's standing on the tip of her unbalanced toes, on her weakened legs. When he grabs her once again, she's the picture of despair. She knows she should fight it off - but has not the strength. And he drags her around, working her body at his will; we can barely see her face - does she even have one at this point?
She strived to offer a shadow of resistance - useless, he had her the way he wanted. She gives it up, and he seduces her, feeling the body that is, at that point, completely his.
He embraces his victim, and then silences her. She takes his hands off her mouth. Indifferent, he moves his grip of her to another part of her body. Again, she takes his hands off of her. He insists on holding her - she starts to fight him off, she feels he has too much control over her already. But as she repels him, he keeps coming back. And the few glimpses we can catch of her face are sheer suffering.
At lenght, she tries to run away from him, but he's too fast for her - or perhaps she's become too slow. He immediately grabs her and hurls her. As she's trying to stand up on her own, he's there already by her side, quick and smooth, embracing her. She lets go of his embrace - but falls. It's hard for her to get back on her feet all by herself. She gets up: there he is, time and time again, now making a barrier, so she won't be able to pass. She tries to break it, using the little strength she's got, but it works not. On the contrary: she's the one to bounce back - and he has her again in his arms. He blinds her, as she's struggling to be free. They have a sort of little fight, and she even attempts to strike back at him - though he averts it quite well.
They fall, and stand up right away in perfect synchrony - only to fall on the floor once again, this time from a greater height. They're one and the same.
She tries once more: gets up, and runs. She's trying to resurface, and reaches out. One hand, both hands.
He holds her arm, and stops her. Easily, single-handedly. She won't be able to get out. He smiles.
Her face is Pain.


She loses her balance, but he's there to support her. He's what keeps her from utterly falling at this moment. Always smiling, he grabs her neck and swings her - she doesn't even look alive. Except that she does: she comes back to life once more, and gets herself out - he doesn't let her go, giving her only space enough to move more comfortably. She stretches, he silences her again. She tries to avoid it, but can't, really.
He's one more time grabbing her body, and silencing her. She frees herself from his grip, at last - and leaves him. But he doesn't stop smiling, and leaves his arm the way she's left it: wide open. They're exactly where they started - apart.
He knows she'll be back.

Gravity (Sara Bareilles)
Something always brings me back to you
It never takes too long
(...)
Set me free, leave me be
I don't wanna fall another moment into your gravity
Here I am, and I stand so tall
Just the way I'm supposed to be
But you're on to me, and all over me
I live here on my knees
As I try to make you see that you're
Everything I think I need here on the ground
But you're neither friend nor foe, though I
Can't seem to let you go
The one thing that I still know
Is that you're keeping me down
Keeping me down
You're on to me, on to me
And all over...

Howling

Gloria
Jewel

Gloria in excelsis Deo
laudamus te
Kyrie eleison
agnus Dei
Gloria

Gloria in excelsis Deo
Christe eleison
laudamus te
agnus Dei
Gloria

Crucifixus et resurrexit
dona nobis pacem
Gloria

Gloria in excelsis Deo
laudamus te
Kyrie eleison
agnus Dei
Gloria

Gloria in excelsis Deo
Christe eleison
laudamus te
agnus Dei
Gloria

Crucifixus et resurrexit
dona nobis pacem
Gloria

Sleeping

Brahm's Lullaby
Jewel

Lullaby and good night
In the sky stars are bright
May the moon’s silvery beams
Bring you sweet dreams

Close your eyes now and rest
May these hours be blessed
‘Til the sky's bright with dawn
When you wake with a yawn

Lullaby and good night
You are mother’s delight
I’ll protect you from harm
And you’ll wake in my arms

Sleepyhead, close your eyes
For I’m right beside you
Guardian angels are near
So sleep without fear

Lullaby and good night
With roses bedight
Lilies o'er head
Lay thee down in thy bed

Lullaby and good night
You are mother’s delight
I’ll protect you from harm
And you’ll wake in my arms

Lullaby and sleep tight
My darlings sleeping
On sheets white as cream
With a head full of dreams

Sleepyhead, close your eyes
I’m right beside you
Lay thee down now and rest
May your slumber be blessed

Go to sleep, little one
Think of puppies and kittens
Go to sleep, little one
Think of butterflies in spring

Go to sleep, little one
Think of sunny bright mornings
Hush darling one
Sleep through the night...

Sleep tight

Sighing

Sometimes It Be That Way
Jewel

[...]
And Romeo was a very nice man
He said "Sweetheart, I don't think you quite understand"
And I'm sorry if you had to explain it like this
Sorry I was a point you were destined to miss
And I'm sorry I spoke to you irreverently
Down in the hollow by the old olive tree
And I'm sorry if my heart breaking ruined your day
Oh well, sometimes it be that way

I said "Oh well, I got nothing left to sell
This love was a bell that rang unheard in the air
I was bound to find out that you didn't care
Oh well, sometimes it be that way"

And Aphrodite with her neon lamp
Kissed Neptune, they put her face on a stamp
And I'm sorry I used it to mail a letter to you
Sorry I'm glue and the rest... bounces off of you
I'm sorry not even this jet's metal wings
Could get across these simple things
And I'm sorry if I ever sang your name in vain
Oh well, sometimes it be that way
[...]

(I will stop bitching about it, I swear! Cross my heart and hope to die!)

Sulking

Ironic
Alanis Morissette

An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
Isn't it ironic... don't you think?

CHORUS:
It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

Mr. Play it Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids good-bye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
"Well, isn't this nice."
And isn't it ironic ... don't you think?

(chorus)

Well life has a funny way
Of sneaking up on you when you think everything's okay
And everything's going right
And life has a funny way
Of helping you out when you think everything's gone wrong
And everthing blows up in your face

A traffic jam when you're already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic... don't you think?
A little too ironic.. and yeah I really do think...

(chorus)

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
And life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
Helping you out...

Dancing

I Hope You Dance
Lee Ann Womack

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,
May you never take one single breath for granted,
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed,
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.
I hope you dance...

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin' might mean takin' chances but they're worth takin',
Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth makin',
Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,
When you come close to sellin' out reconsider,
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance,
I hope you dance...
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone)

(Picture credit: Patrícia Hall)